Halfwits & Failed Crits

Worlds Divided Ep 1 - United, Guilded, The Ritual

January 22, 2020 Halfwits & Failed Crits Season 1 Episode 1
Halfwits & Failed Crits
Worlds Divided Ep 1 - United, Guilded, The Ritual
Halfwits & Failed Crits
Worlds Divided Ep 1 - United, Guilded, The Ritual
Jan 22, 2020 Season 1 Episode 1
Halfwits & Failed Crits

Welcome to the first episode of Worlds Divided! In this episode the Halfwits recount the first three games we played before we started recording. After the summaries, you roll and insight check and get a....ten? This was a long time ago but we talk about to games out of character for a moment and give a glimpse into how we started out!

Music: "Crunk Knight" by Kevin MacLeod

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. 

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to the first episode of Worlds Divided! In this episode the Halfwits recount the first three games we played before we started recording. After the summaries, you roll and insight check and get a....ten? This was a long time ago but we talk about to games out of character for a moment and give a glimpse into how we started out!

Music: "Crunk Knight" by Kevin MacLeod

Follow us on Facebook or Twitter or our Website.
Send us emails at HalfwitsFailedCrits@gmail.com. 

Support the show (https://ko-fi.com/halfwitsfailedcrits)

spk_0:   0:29
I am Welcome to the first episode of worlds

spk_1:   0:31
Divided actual play podcast from half wits and failed Critz I've got with me, Louise, Do you want to say I am Louise and I played next turn. Laura.

spk_3:   0:43
Hi. I'm Laura, and I play on you. Kylie, I'm Kylie and I play me Lara

spk_1:   0:48
and Mary.

spk_3:   0:49
Hi, I'm Ari. And I played really? And

spk_1:   0:52
I'm Jonathan. I'm the D. M of this adventure, and what we're going to be doing for you guys is catching you up to when we first started recording. So we have three episodes that we're gonna be publishing. This 1st 1 is going to include our 1st 2nd and third games. We're going to do a synopsis of them, and then we're all just kind of going a round table and talk about them afterwards, and we'll do the same thing for the games. 4 to 6 and 7 to 9, and then we'll be caught up with when we first started recording. And you guys will start hearing that. So the title of our first game was called United, and we're gonna have Mary who plays, as we mentioned earlier, Adriel read that synopsis to you.

spk_4:   1:34
Our game begins with a very strange meeting, fresh off a kill an Orc name. Next turn, played by Louise, seeks out a bar in a new land to refresh and ready himself for more jobs, more travel and likely more killing. What he doesn't know is that he is being trailed by a drill played by me Mary Atif Ling, assassin hired to make sure Nick's turns. Actions don't go unpunished. And Mel Laura, played by Kylie and L from the kingdom that next time just threw into chaos. Nick Stern enters the Dead skull pub in stands at the bar, waiting for his drink to arrive. As he does, Mel Lara and Adrian enter and begin to blend in with the crowd. Unfortunately for them, next turn drowns his drink and immediately starts a bar brawl. Their attempts to escape are stifled by the mob of adventurers storming into the pub from the streets of Hollis Ted, looking to join in on a good round of fisticuffs, Adriel makes a desperate attempt to leave the fray by taking the less subtle exit of the pub window. But as she does, a goat jumps through the window and knocks her back into the room, seeing the goat and not wanting to get injured. Millar molds the earth floor into a ripple that knocks down most of the pubs inhabitants and effectively pauses The fighting with the noise calmed. Melora, here's someone pleading with her to help them. Looking around. It is discovered to be the goat it claims to be fitted. Ear all break. An esteemed wizard of transmutation magic, he goes on to claim that his home tree tower has been confiscated by his apprentice, and he has been imprisoned in this goat form and held captive in a pen. He claims to have heroically escaped, but is sure he claims to have heroically escaped but assure that his apprentice will be sending henchman to reclaim him very soon. Just then, a large anthropomorphic bear makes its entrance into the pub and, with a stern voice, asked that the local go be handed over as its owner is worried sick. Mollari gets in front of the goat and claims that the bear is lying. Next turn, seeing an opportunity to restart his brawl, grabs the prone Adriel and launches her at the bear as the fight subside. Nick Sterne insists that he aids his new companion, Mel Lara, in helping the goat ified wizard return to his human form and take back his home. Atrial insists that there be payment for this endeavor or she will not help us. She has other paying work. Venator promises that they will be handsomely rewarded for aiding in his return to power and leads them to his overtaken home. Once they arrive at the scene, the group fights their way up the tower to confront The Apprentice in the library, just as the group seems to have them beat. He retreats further up into tree tower to what appears to be a bedroom with a loud creaking and splitting of wood. The apprentice transmutes the bedroom set into a large wooden dragon that promptly proceeds to battle the group with a lot of effort and next turn, snapping both the necks of the Apprentice and the dragon tree tower is reclaimed. For Finn, a deer finna dear rejoices and, with his goat mouth, retrieves his one from his now

spk_3:   4:17
deceased apprentice. Dropping the

spk_4:   4:20
wand in front of the party, Finn Idir explains the magic that needs to be cast in orderto to transform him back into his normal wizard self. Adriel picks up the wand and follows finna tears instructions. Unfortunately, a drill isn't any good at magic and screws up the

spk_3:   4:33
spell. Good one turning finna

spk_4:   4:36
dear into a horrid blob before he painfully parishes and melts away. Yeah, great first

spk_3:   4:45
episode We did kill him with Finn Idir

spk_4:   4:49
dead. There is no one to give the group their reward, but they're also isn't anyone left at treat our so nix turns suggests cleaning the tower as their own with a little renovating. It was livable before dusk and the group takes a well deserved rest. Awesome!

spk_1:   5:02
Who wants to read the synopsis for Episode two?

spk_3:   5:05
Louise ee, I think died. Was

spk_4:   5:12
that our first

spk_3:   5:13
failed crit roll? No. Yes. I'm not surprised. It was me. How did we

spk_1:   5:20
kill the bed dragon? You snapped its neck.

spk_3:   5:25
I think I tried to light it on fire and failed.

spk_1:   5:28
Anyways, we'll talk more about that after we get through number three. So episode to was named gilded. Take it away, Louise. Game two gilded. Our intrepid adventurers gain a new ally. Anya, A drunken wouldn't elf stumbles out of the woods into the encampment and decides it seems like a good place to live. Theo. Ahem, Game two Gilded. Our intrepid adventurers gain a new ally. Anya, played by Laura. A drunken wood elf stumbles out of the woods into the encampment and decides it seems like a good place to live. Next turn a drill and Mel are a except their new companion, since she comes with an adorable blink dog pants. They are enlisted by a woman with a burglar problem who offered coveted guild coins as a payment if they can capture her nighttime intruders hiding throughout the house, the party lays in wait for whatever might go bump in the night. Anya, having the sharpest eyes and best dice rolls, apparently spots the first intruder and jumps it, accidentally, killing what appears to be a slimy bully. Wog Millar manages to capture one, while next turn accidentally steps on one, crushing it completely. The crew proceeds to interrogate the captured believe wog named Bill and forced him to take them to their bully Wog lair. Yeah, that that becomes your husband, I think upon entering the cave hideout, they encounter a group of guild members who were also hired to sort out the bully. Wogs. Anya, realizing the group is human, says some racist things and the group decides to go their separate ways. And whoever defeats the leader first gets the payout. Our heroes set off down their path, fantasizing about the riches that await them. One thing that does await them. Giant freaking frogs. Ah, whole cave full of hunting frogs. One tongue lashes next turn immobilizing him. Melora CASS.

spk_3:   7:34
Okay. Was it one of the comments I made?

spk_1:   7:37
Ah, whole cave of hunting frogs. One tongue lashes next turn immobilizing him. Millar a cast a beast bond and creates a telepathic link with the hunting frog, reassuring it that they mean it no harm. She then proceeds to ride it like a loyal steed, cementing their trusting bond.

spk_3:   7:56
Wink, wink,

spk_1:   7:58
Bill. The bully wog leads them to the sleeping quarters where Anya somehow seduces all the bully walks a follower into staging a coupe against the bully walking Kevin Anya, followed by the rest of her team and a lot of angry and horny bully, wogs stormed the throne room and commence battle against King Kevin and his nobles, lounging atop a pile of riches. The poor Billy wogs attached there rich oppressors and Millar, his newfound partner, assists as the battle rages. Next turn launches himself into the pile to attack the king directly with the hunting frog. Following squishing King Kevin, Anya's boyfriend, Bill becomes a new king and begs on you to remain at his side as his queen. Anya, not being in the market for a permanent commitment, lies her ass off, promising to return. Molera searches the pile of riches for the employers missing items, and the intrepid group sets off as they exit the bully walk hideout. They meet up with one of the guild members from before, looking severely beat up, he says his name is Isaac, and he's the only surviving member of their guild. Clearly, our heroes benefited from a guide more. Laura heals them. While he tells them that his fellow guild members were killed by the hunter frogs and the traps along their path. The group, overruling Anya, suggests that he should join them, and he agrees. They returned the stolen items to our employer, earning them a nice reward, and she sends them in the direction of the guild hall where this side to become an official guild. Since there is no other way to spend reward tokens, they take on the moniker the Syndicate and decide that their motto will be righteous in wrath with colors Navy, blue and silver. Awesome. So now we got the third game, which was called I want to Change It Thio Wet. Welcome.

spk_3:   9:49
Know what? Welcome? It was warm. Welcome.

spk_1:   9:54
Mmm. Okay, well, we have Game three. The ritual A k a wet Welcome. A warm welcome being read by Laura.

spk_2:   10:05
This episode begins with a surprise arrival of a potential new member. Caf? The group allows him to hang out as a trial run. He becomes He comes bearing a note from the World Guild alliance giving the newly coin syndicate their first guild task to investigate a suspicious village that has cropped up in the region. The intrepid team sets off on what promises to be an exciting adventure. They arrive at the village and there doesn't seem to be anything out of the order or an authority figure around. But nothing seems a miss. Our heroes air talking to a couple Villagers, and Anya sets off to find the tavern when a scream rises from the direction of the lake, they rushed to the lake to see what's the matter and on Lee find the beach empty but for a small boat. Upon further deliberation, the crew decides to take the little boat into the lake to a small island, nesting in the center to see if someone got stranded there on a side note. Why any of us thought next turn would fit into a little dinghy is completely beyond me anyway. Our dimensionally challenged heroes set out in a little dinghy to explore the island but encounter considerable rocking. After rolling a decently high perception check, Adriel realizes that there's something in the water rocking our boat as she flies up to take a closer look, a huge water hand tries to snatch her out of the air. Millar Akash shaped water to force the creature to the surface and finds a man dressed in a black robe referred to R D M as it cultist. They make it across the link to the island, where they tie up the captured cultists and examine the island. There is a small shack like building and very little else. The group pulls back the hood of the cultists to reveal some very prominent facial tattoos. Upon interrogation, the cultists confesses that his order steals from the village across the lake. They worship someone they call their Lord, and he doesn't know what his tattoo symbolize, which might have been a really bad persuasion check. He also reveals that his orders headquarters are in the shack. We leave the cultists tied up on the beach and slowly approached this shack. Millar, a cast a tech magic to see if the door is magically locked. It isn't as they approach, however, Anya gets sucked into some quicksand and quickly disappears. She falls into a small, dark room and realizes she is being dragged down a hallway As she loses consciousness. The rest of the group make it through the door and find a shaft downward. And Millar, a disguises herself, is one of the cultist to try and infiltrate them. The rest of the group finds a small room where onions laying on the floor, the door slammed shut in next turn Adriel and kept our knocked unconscious. Meanwhile, Millar discovers that the cultists are actually one of the other guild surprise This is actually a traditional hazing ritual for new guilds. Millar a decides to play alone, knowing no harm will come to her friends. The Capt Rude. The captive crew wakes up, bound. CAF manages to free himself and then quickly freeze the others. But the room starts filling with water. Unbeknownst to the group, Millar a cast a spell so they can all breathe underwater. After some panicking, the room fills with water and they realize that they're all still alive. And the cultists revealed themselves to be members of the Onyx Rose Guild, led by caste Meena. She takes him back to the surface where the town is completely gone. But now there's a dope after party to celebrate the new Syndicate Guild joining the Worldwide Guild alliance.

spk_4:   13:41
I'd like to point out that it was a really stupid idea to fly away from the monster so I could get a closer

spk_3:   13:47
look. You're not the smartest.

spk_1:   13:55
Okay, so now that we read off three of our 1st 3 events, we're just gonna sit down and talk about him. All right? So I'll kick off this discussion with our first game because we did it kind of out of nowhere. I actually based it off of a premade game called The Wild Sheep Chase that was done by the Dungeon Master's Guild. In just online. There's like a big guilt of Dunder Masters who make a bunch of premade campaigns, and that one was there for free. So, like I changed up the names of things a little bit. But like the and most of the stuff that happened ended up not being from the wild, cheap chase. But like the initial starting of the Goat coming into a bar was. Actually, I'm not even sure if that was the same. But there's like in the initial There's a bill, our dog, Bilbo, just tryingto like the mike

spk_4:   14:48
he likes. New did it.

spk_1:   14:49
Yep, so the party in the wild sheep chase gets approached by a sheep. Who is someone who's similarly named Thio Finn, Rear Albright or whatever his name was? Um, and he tells him the same thing an apprentice took over his tower. It wasn't a tree in the original book. I don't think I just changed that up a little bit, and then the only other thing that was similar was the fight with the Apprentice in the wild sheep chase. They do also turn the bed into a bed dragon.

spk_3:   15:19
Oh, I didn't know that you stole this. Who's

spk_1:   15:22
our first game? Did we do we re establish our rooms when we first took over the tower? Yeah, just like that same day.

spk_4:   15:31
Yeah, I remember because I had a secret hidden chamber that none of none of y'all knew where was so I could be sneaky.

spk_1:   15:38
I think I was in the very front.

spk_4:   15:40
You were in the lobby because we determined you were too stupid to find a room outside of the

spk_3:   15:44
lobby. I think later on that I wasn't

spk_1:   15:47
that stupid, right? Or wasn't released. You know, you weren't that stupid.

spk_3:   15:51
No, it's can. And you were done, but yeah, I think I don't live. I think we made a lot of dumb next during jokes throughout this whole thing. First half,

spk_1:   15:58
I was like, I think I'm really dumb, but I, after looking at my stats, sounds like a weight on that.

spk_3:   16:03
It's a character

spk_2:   16:04
choice. My room was a ah hammock. Um, outside, on the canopy

spk_4:   16:12
I produce just had a library with a tiny bed in the corner.

spk_1:   16:16
I just had Hey, hey! In the corner with a lot of dead parts around me.

spk_3:   16:23
So what was really cool? That was that, John, let us make our own town.

spk_1:   16:26
That's way later, but yeah,

spk_3:   16:27
way. But no,

spk_1:   16:32
it's true. What my intent was for this thing was because, as we talked about in Game two, they ended up making a guild in this whole like kingdom is essentially a kingdom of guilds run by one big guild, and everyone reports back to them, and they kind of just have all these jobs and everything that they go out and do and the whole intent. When we first set this up, we didn't end up doing it throughout the whole thing. But after you guys earned X amount of guilt coins, you were able to expand the land that you are. We're on. So yeah, eventually you guys ended up making a whole town out of what we what we did. And we have that is actually a recording instead of a recap

spk_4:   17:08
spoiler, spoiler and also maybe post a picture of our original drying.

spk_1:   17:15
Oh, yeah, I can post that, like on the twitter, like

spk_4:   17:17
it was on a piece

spk_3:   17:18
of cardboard that I'm pretty sure came from a pizza box.

spk_1:   17:21
Yes, it did. Louise drew it. Why? What else? After after the first game, everything was original. There was there wasn't anything, Uh, for Kylie's terms stolen after that false, false,

spk_4:   17:37
false statement. Okay, I specifically remember at least one game in the future that is based explicitly off Paragon.

spk_3:   17:45

spk_1:   17:47
that is true. But that is a mobile. Was was a mobile. Aaaah was a multiplayer online battle arena that was killed by fortnight.

spk_4:   18:03
I miss my countess.

spk_1:   18:06
Yeah, me and Kylie and Louise played it a ton. Um,

spk_3:   18:11
it was like the only

spk_4:   18:12
video game I played for, like years.

spk_1:   18:15
Yeah. So one of the games that will actually have to do another synopsis for which is kind of its almost right near the end, I made a big battle map that we put upon our TV, and we essentially played a mobile in D and D for one of the events in a like through in little story points. Once they got toe certain percentages of the game being complete. So we'll have to do a recap of that one because we don't actually have a recording of it, cause God, that would have been awful for you guys. Is listeners. I Did anyone have anything from the game where Anya married? Bill?

spk_4:   18:49
Here comes the bride.

spk_1:   18:52
Bold draft. And what

spk_3:   18:54
I will say, I don't know about Anya

spk_4:   18:56
marrying Bill, but, um, I named my hunting Frog dart.

spk_1:   19:02
Yeah, because we were watching stranger things at that point,

spk_4:   19:04
and my brain just envisioned pretty much like the baby. But what is it? Copy. Demi Gorgon. Yes. Yeah, but I'm not creating this campaign. I can name it. Whatever. I damn well please.

spk_1:   19:18
Anybody copy?

spk_2:   19:19
I actually really liked Isaac. The NBC, even though on you, you know, was racist towards humans. But I liked him personally.

spk_1:   19:26
You can't because you're racist.

spk_3:   19:28
Did we

spk_4:   19:29
get into Isaac's backstory?

spk_1:   19:31
No, not ah. I mean, we briefly mentioned that he was from another guild that got killed in the frog area.

spk_4:   19:38
He's a spelunker.

spk_1:   19:40
Yes. Yeah,

spk_4:   19:41
Yeah. I think the nickname we gave him with the navigator.

spk_2:   19:45
Yeah, he does suffer this in other episodes.

spk_1:   19:48
Yes, that we will discuss that we gave the first few indoctrinated guild people like nicknames. So

spk_3:   19:56
the way you say indoctrinated. It makes it sound like

spk_4:   20:00
we're brainwashing them

spk_3:   20:01
way literally started a cult in this town Well,

spk_1:   20:08
righteous in wrath. If I remember correctly,

spk_4:   20:11
I'm the rest. Never mind Jonathan. How did you How did writing of these games make you feel?

spk_1:   20:21
Rest? Well, I guess one thing I'll interject is that the the Games I planned out as story arcs and every every few games every four games was supposed to be. Something was introduced in the beginning, and something was either solved or newly introduced by the fourth game. So games for a 12 16 and 20 all were finale is of arcs. So this first art that I did was united, gilded, um, the ritual. And then the next time we or the next, the next episode that re record will start with Game four, which was called I think it's called. The first rift is which is where I introduced the like main crux of how of this campaign in general, and that's like right after these guys get settled, they make a guild. They have a new member, and then I introduced the main problem. And then from then I I tried to keep every four episodes kind of self contained.

spk_4:   21:29
Jonathan, how many d and D campaigns have you done before? This one,

spk_1:   21:33
technically zero,

spk_4:   21:35
Uh, also false.

spk_1:   21:36
Well, technically zero. Because I have never finished a campaign before this

spk_3:   21:39
one. That was the question.

spk_1:   21:41
So probably three year four campaigns have been started before this one, and this is the 1st 1 I ever got to finish. We originally started doing these in college with our fraternity group fighting the pie, and it was just kind of hectic as hell. We had 16 people, not including myself playing during this. That was just wild. It was so hard to control. And we only played like, probably five or six weeks of that

spk_2:   22:07
fun. Fact. Anya was a crossover character that I still played in the college games that John ran.

spk_1:   22:14
Yeah. So there was, ah, campaign called dirge of the dire, the work that we were trying to kick off. And I think we got, like, six games into that. Why didn't you finish it, though? Too many people, not enough planning? No. We finished because we finished that camp or gave up on that campaign because the further we got into it. The drunker people were when we showed up, and it was

spk_2:   22:36
just awful. I had fun because I was sober.

spk_1:   22:40
Yeah, throwing people was, like one of my main attacks until we started leveling

spk_3:   22:46
up. But, I mean, I also rolled

spk_1:   22:49
pretty well. I'd be, like, a lot of the time. Yet Nixon was like the only person not dice Kirsten are hold.

spk_4:   22:57
I have never been so dice cursed in any D and D game I've ever played than this one. I even got my own dice and it still didn't help.

spk_3:   23:07
I think

spk_4:   23:08
I rolled more crit fails in this game than anyone else here.

spk_1:   23:11
Secrets? We named this whole podcast after Adri alone.

spk_4:   23:16
No, it's true.

spk_1:   23:17
You just gotta buy a way to dice like I did.

spk_2:   23:21
You need dice Jail?

spk_1:   23:22
Yeah. Put him in the freezer. Is that all we got to talk about? Yeah, right. It was a long time ago way. Call to action. So you guys were just setting everything up. So you probably you, By the time this is up, maybe you'll be able to find it everywhere. But we have a website hosted by Buzz Sprout that is half wits failed Critz dot com, And that's where you'll definitely be able to get our episodes right away. We'll try and get them upon Spotify and Apple podcasts and all that stuff is quick as we can. You can send us e mails at half wits failed Critz at gmail dot com, and you can find us on Facebook and Twitter at Failed Critz. Our theme song is by Kevin McCloud and is called Crunk Night. Yes, that that sounded weird because I just found it the other day and I haven't put a theme song into these yet, cause we're recording them. So I had to remember that, Yes, there will be a theme song. Okay, well, thanks for joining us. We're going to be doing our games four through six on the next episode. So we hope you come back to listen until

spk_3:   24:42
next time. Hi,