speaker 0:   0:00
fine. Welcome the half wits and failed. Chris, I'm your dungeon master Jonathan. I looked at our Buzz Fred account, and it seems like we have some extra time to fill up before the month rolls over. And I figured we'd give you a special episode that maybe provides a little extra context for the episodes that are actual play that we're about to jump in on. And that context would be our characters back stories. So the players also expressed that they wanted to read their backstories for you guys. So check back later because I'll probably be re uploading this with their recordings once they get time to. We just wanted to squeeze this in before our buzz sprout account ran out of minutes, and this seemed like a really good spot to do it, since our episodes are gonna traditionally be rather long and probably take up the whole month's worth of time with one episode. So first up we'll talk about Adrian, who's played by Mary, and this was written by Mary. Orphaned or unwanted, I bounced around from orphanage to orphanage at a very young age. I often felt unwelcome at human or elf orphanages due to their fear of my appearance and shelter demeanor, I would often scare the other kids and staff and therefore was never able to stay at one place for longer than a few months. Around the age of 10 I landed at an orphanage specifically tailored for Children whose parents were either prisoners of war or prisoners executed for treason by the monarchy. It was here that I made a friend. His name was Daniel, and he was the only person who didn't flinch or cry when he looked at me. His parents were rebels of a small tribe in the southern part of the country and were executed when he was only five years old and had been at this orphanage ever since. We were inseparable and through him I was able to stay at this orphanage for the next three years, where we spent many days dreaming of a future where we could be adopted by a good family and be able to be friends forever. At the age of 13 we had gained enough trust of the orphanage staff that we were allowed to take short day trips to the market to procure supplies for the younger kids and the kitchens. One day I was longingly looking at freshly baked breads while Daniel attempted to negotiate for some flour. A few carts over a man and fine clothes approached me. He said that he had seen me and my friend at the market frequently and noticed that what we were in rags and smelled of farm. We were shrewd and quick witted with the market vendors. He said he needed young and smart ones like us tow work on his estate for him, and that if we were interested in the job to meet him at the crossroads next to the old Bridge, two miles south of the market the following night, he then tossed me a few gold coins and walked off gold coins. I had never held anything of such value in my life. I ran over to Daniel and showed him what I had and told him of the rich man. He really offered us tow work, he asked excitedly. Yes, we could be rich, Daniel. We could help the other Children at the orphanage, and we could be together forever, I replied. We then decided to spend the one gold coin on enough supplies to last the orphanage over a month and give the head lady the remainder to use in the winter, when the supplies are short and the demand is large. Daniel and I then spend the rest of the night, and the next day gathering are few belongings. In planning our escape from the orphanage to meet with the rich man at the crossroads and to begin our new M bountiful life, we decided we would each save our small bread ration from dinner and used them to bribe one of the younger kids to cry and distract the nurses while we slipped out the window and into the washroom and onto the shed below. Once we're safely out of sight of the orphanage, we began laughing and jumping at how smart we were and how excited we were to be on our way to a better life. We asked each other what we were going to eat First. Cinnamon buns, lamb stew. Oh, what about chocolate pudding? We will be able to buy anything we wanted if we were being paid with riel gold coins. A short while later, we were waiting on the edge of the crossroads looking at the old bridge and waiting for the rich man to come. I get up and walk around for a bit to stretch my legs and cover up how nervous I was that I had maybe misunderstood the man or had maybe lead us to the wrong crossroads. Daniel, always knowing exactly what I was thinking, said It's OK, Addie. He will come. And he was probably held up dealing with important things at his big house. He was right, and I just needed to relax. It would look bad for our future employer if I was a frazzled mess. When he got here, I turned around to tell Daniel that he was right, and at the exact moment an arrow shot straight through his back in shock. I stared at him with the arrow protruding from his chest and blood dripping out of his mouth as he said my nickname, Addie, and fell. Regaining my footing, I ran to him and looked into his eyes, hoping to see my friend to see Daniel look back. But instead I only saw emptiness and death jumping away from the body of the boy. I then realized I loved. I heard heavy boot steps from the forest behind him. I watched is the man from the market armed with a bow and a quiver dressed entirely in black came out of the forest and into the moonlight. Stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl. Did you really think I was giving you a job? I'm actually surprised to see the two of you here. When I didn't or couldn't respond, he continued. I was hired by this boy's uncle too. Track him down and kill him. You see, his uncle is still favored by the crown and he didn't want to risk anything getting in the way of his political advancement. Even an innocent little often or a naive little shit like you. He raised his loaded bow in my direction. I still in shock, stood frozen, unable to move deep down. I didn't want to live in a world without Daniel. A sharp crack, a broken branch in the woods to the left of noise caused 100 to react and I was snapped back into reality. In that moment I found the strength to turn and run away from the crossroads. I ran and I ran with my young T fling speed through the woods for a CZ long as I could, I ran away from the hunter away from the orphanage and away from Daniel. I spent the next few years roaming city to city, making money as a petty thief and manipulator and eventually working up to full grown black market criminal. I learned thieves can't apprenticed for a potion maker who's black Market specialty included the rarest and deadliest of poisons that could kill a man without leaving a trace. I learned how to pick locks and to fight. I was cold hearted and ruthless and had no objections to who I would kill for money except Children. No Children. To this day, I don't know if the hunter still lived or if whatever large animal that was in the woods that night attacked and killed him. But I did know that the real monster, the real source of my rage, was Daniel's uncle, the man who ordered the murder of an innocent child. I vowed to find out who he was and to kill him to avenge my friend and the life that I know we could have had. Now I'm going to talk about Anya, who is played by Laura Anya, was born to a loving community in the high forest. While she had her birth parents, her tribe raise Children as a community. From the moment she could walk, she was taught the ways of the bow swords and tracking. Her nomadic tribe was small but tighten it, and they lived for the love of their goddess, Alana, whose symbol was a unicorn horn. The high forest helped Anya learn to blend into nature and this letter to become a troublesome child. She loved pranking her fellow elves by summoning fog and scaring them. She grew close to Selene, a fellow wood elf child whose favorite prank was to transform into a spider. Anya was very curious about the outside world. Her birth parents told her, however, that she could not leave their tribe until she had passed the trial. Selene and Anya shrug this off perfectly happy to stay in the forest. The years passed, and soon Anya had come to her 18th birthday. On her name Day, Anya had a dream of a beautiful unicorn atop a mountain that appeared to touch the night sky. Awakening with a sense of purpose, Anya confessed to Selene. Selene, however, had not had this vision. M brushed it off as the mushroom soup that they had the night before. Onion knew in her heart that it was a vision from Alana and told the elders her trial had begun. In fact, Anya had already passed the first test by acknowledging it was a lot of speaking to her. The elders were so happy and her birth mother would not stop singing her praises, Anya asked when the next test would happen. But the elders gave no hints. Anya was happy her goddess had decided it was her time, but she was so nervous. Alana had a Longbow that never missed its target and annual worried that her skills were not yet good enough. Selene tried to be happy for her best friend, but she couldn't stop her feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. What if Anya past the trial and left the tribe without her A few days passed in annual awoke in her transportable hammock to silent. She looked down, curious why she couldn't hear the morning fire or the rustling of the elders. The entire tribe had disappeared, including all of onions. Personal supplies in fact, Anya was in a section of the four she had never seen before. She grinned. Her heart was racing for the next part of the trial. She gathered over hammock and began walking. The ground began to slant upwards in Anya's growling stomach. En tired legs began to slow her down. She was beginning to lose hope until she found a longbow perfectly set against a great oak tree on your picked it up and saw the unicorn horn symbol inscribed in the handle. She kept walking, her mind, more determined than ever. Onion knew that she had been walking until midday by the position of the sun. She was almost at the top of a mountain, and the view filled her with serenity. Anya could feel the cold and new. Any higher would be dangerous without protection. While she was crouching to pick some Berries, the corner of her eye caught movement. A white unicorn stood above her, but before Anya could react, it bounded higher up the mountain on your raced up the rocks, ignoring the scrapes and following the smell of blood. The unicorn was always just out of her reach. Anya let a few arrows loose, always missing the beast. By just a few inches. The game continued until they were at a high ledge on the mountains. Anya heaved herself up the steep ledge, her muscle screaming at her to stop. The unicorn stood a few feet away from her eyes, sparkling in the sunlight. Daniel looked at her beau, looked at the unicorn and then lay the weapon down beside her. Anya struggled to her feet, her body feeling almost unnaturally week. When Anya approached the unicorn, she understood what the trial was. Now she laid a careful hand on the unicorns. Faith. Animals are not just pray to be hunted, she whispered. The second Anya pulled away from the beast, an arrow zoomed pastor and hit the unicorn directly in the throat. The beast screamed, a grating noise that shook the very mountain. Anya whipped around, seeing Selene holding her longbow as she grinned ear to ear. I did it! I did the trial, Selina yelled. What have you done? Anya yelled. The unicorn fell and turned to dust. Anya was crying before she even felt the tears come. Anya stumbled back into the tribe the elders were waiting for with solemn faces. You were banished, her birth mother said. Until you have appeased Alana, where is Selene? Anya silently gathered up her supplies. She slung her new longbow over her shoulder and began to walk out. I do did what had to be done, Anya said. The tribe would find Celine's broken body at the bottom of the mountains the next morning. Next up, we have Millar, a played by Kylie Miller, grew up as the only child of two elf parents who doted upon her. She was treasured as they thought that they would never have Children. Her father, a renowned scholar of nature magic, frequently traveled, researching and lecturing at the realms notable universities. He was the one to teach me Lara her first spell in Druid Craft. Of course, after some struggle, Millar a created her first bloom. Soon she was creating blossoms. Everywhere she went. The family quickly grew accustomed to flowers growing and blossoming, even in the middle of winter. Her mother was an avid gardener in an animal caretaker. Millar, a loved to help her care for the animals that lived in the forest around the house. Her mother always wore the same locket, said that it was an heirloom that have been in the family for generations. It was intricately designed, with small lilies in late on the cover. Upon returning from a trip to the kingdom's capital, her father gave her a matching lock it. One day, when Malala was barely 14 a group of men came to their home. Her mother and father managed to hide my Laura in the tiny secret cellar underneath the house. But before she closed the door, her mother quickly switched their lockets. Keep it safe and keep it secret, she whispered, slipping Lara's imitation. Lock it over her head hiding in the cellar, Millar a listened as her parents moved about the house. The footsteps she recognized as her father went toward the mantel where the sword from his father was mounted. Her mother steps retreated into the kitchen. Suddenly, Millar a heard a booming knock on the door, then a splintering sound, as those on the outside had kicked the door. In Elwin, Val Mahrous, a voice, said, You know why we've come. Where is it safe from you and Joe Master? You'll never find it, May, Laura's father said. Just then, Lara heard scuffling coming from overhead in the kitchen, followed by muffled shrieks. Let her go. She has nothing to do with this, Ellen cried. No, but maybe a little incentive would help you play nicely. The voice said Molera could hear more muffled scuffling from above and then her father's voice crying, Enough, enough! I'll tell you, Just let her go. The conversation between her parents and the men was short. The men killed May Lara's parents and searched for the house for the locket and could not find it. They assumed the woman must have sent it to a relative. Apparently, they were unaware about Mel Lara's existence. They lit the house on fire, the cellar being Miller's parents secret weapon, if they ever were tracked down, was protected against just about any kind of destruction one could think of. Millar survives the attack and the fire by hiding in the secret cellar for several hours, waiting until she was sure the men had left. She emerged from the cellar to find her home almost completely destroyed by fire. Her parent's bodies lay in the middle of the entryway, burnt beyond recognition. Millar a realized in that moment, gazing at her parent's bodies and fighting tears that she had to leave from what the men had said while they were torturing her parents, they were hired by an extremely powerful man named Lord Montecore to track down her family and take the locket. They have been hunting them for years since before Miller's birth, and as long as she had that locket, she couldn't stay there. She vows that one day she vows that she will protect the locket and destroy Montador, no matter the cost. Last but not least, we have Nick Stern, played by Louise, born on a mountain and raised by bears. Next turn live the 1st 16 years of his life in the woods, where he was abandoned after his mother gave birth to him in a cave on an early spring. As luck would have it, a group of bears residing in that cave for hibernation awoke to the sound of the infants crying as an ork. The baby was larger than human babies and was adopted by the bear family with these. It was here, in these woods that he developed his thirst for blood as he mimicked the territorial aggression common to the bears in the forest. However, these were not your ordinary, hyper aggressive bears. No, these were wear bears. The wear bears did not speak, but every full moon grew twice their size and went into a bloodthirsty rampage. Next turn, unable to transform, was left alone until he was able to walk the wear. Bears had left him alone when he was a baby, but once he was upright, they began to view him as food during the full moon. So he learned to think quickly in desperate situations, along with the ability to climb trees wicked fast. Nick Stern can climb 120 foot tree in five seconds. One unfortunate night, groups of soldiers were heading back to the castle from a battle far away. They decided to cut through the woods as it was the fastest way home with light from the full moon. And they were able to navigate without any real problems, unaware of the death certificate that they had signed. As they all went to sleep that night, the wear bears crashed into their camp with Nick's turn riding one. The Bears slaughter the camp. Next earned felt the rush of crushing the heads of his enemies and eating their faces off, slurping the brains of the defeated and content with the ambush, his family began to trot off when they were attacked from behind by a few of the soldiers who had dashed into the woods during the attack. Nick Stern watched as the sword went through his mother's head. Horrified, his rage exploded and his fury was unmatched even to the ferocity of the turned wear bears. No one was left recognizable. The castle was confused when their soldiers had not returned from war and so sent a scout party out to find them. As Winter approached, they finally found the remnants of the camp and began to track the party responsible. Nick's turn, however, does not hibernate. At this point, he had skinned his mother's corpse and wore hers for to keep warm. He protected the bears as they slept and felt a great sense of pride in the task. He went out, afford for food. When tragedy struck, the cave was discovered and everyone inside was immediately killed. Nick Stern arrived just at the tail end of the ambush and was overwhelmed by the enemy who took him prisoner, unable to speak, read or write. Nixon was forced to spend the first few years in society working manual labor for the soldiers, taking care of horses and things of that nature. He learned quickly and discovered other orcs and learned his native tongue. From there, he began his slow ascent into the Army's glory when he enlisted into the king's army At 20 years old, he did not hate the kingdom for murdering his wear bear family as he contemplated the events that unfolded. It was only a matter of time before the two parties clashed, and he had to come to terms with the outcome. Nix turns bloodlust, was terrifying and on inspiring as he rallied the troops around him with his astounding strength. He rose through the ranks and commanded a great deal of respect from the other soldiers. But he was not the leading type. Nick Stern fights with his fellow soldiers side by side, never to stay at camp and issue orders from a distance. After fighting for 10 years with the king's army, Nick Stern decided it was time to part ways and began to travel as a mercenary for hire. Drinking and fighting were to be his life for the next three years, and he on Lee took a Simon's where he knew he would be able to shed blood. His latest quest was to rescue a princess, which he almost completed as he was storming the castle. He had assumed that the princess would be locked in a dungeon, and so he immediately attacked everyone The moment he stepped through the doors until he got to the king's chamber, the king was seated at his throne, accompanied by his queen. Nick Stern asked for the princess, but the queen on Lee laughed. Oh, the king sent one orc to rescue me. He was supposed to send money, she scoffed. Nick's turn began to understand the situation. The princess had willingly gone with this king and was attempting to extort her client by pretending to be kidnapped. His blood began to boil, betraying your own flesh and blood for money, he growled, his teeth clenched together before the king could utter a word next earned through a small shielded his neck, instantly decapitating him. The queen screamed out, but only for a second. As Nick's turn leaped and clapped his hands together, squashing her petite head into a pancake. With his work done, he picked up the king's head and tied it to his waistband with the queen Slash princess dead. He didn't have to rush back and decided now would be a great time for a drink. So he strolled out of the castle, trekked to the next town over and walked into a bar. And that moment is actually where our first game picked up was right at the end of next turns back story. So there you have it. That was the details of our adventurers past. Tragic, pretty much all of them. So I hope you enjoyed this little bonus episode. Hopefully, I'll be able to re upload this with the players recording for their own character stories at some point. But for now, this will have to do, I think, because this was a bonus episode. I can skip the normal call to action and all that jazz, so I just want to say thank you to Kevin McCloud for the use of our theme song Crunk Night. You can find links to his stuff in our show notes, So in about two weeks we'll have the first actual play episode up. It's almost done being edited. And that's also when our time resets on our hosting site. So thanks for listening and can't wait until you can actually hear the real stuff. Finally, have a good one Bye.